Friday, February 12, 2010
"Man proposes God disposes." For a supreme soul like me dedicated solely to the uplift-ment of mankind, a few things don't come easy! I belong to the breed of engineers infesting this planet who consider few acts as a lethal sin. Today on this propitious day of Maha Shivratri, in front of Lord Shiva, I am going to make the confession of the sin I did today.
me: "O' mighty and the most puissant Lord Shiva. I come to thy gracious abode to seek forgiveness!"
god:"yes, my son first tell me who are you and what is your model number? then tell me what have you done?"
me:"O omniscient, I am Ajay Kumar, model number 8:05 am,26th january 1990, House number 420 Haryana, India."
god:"My register shows no registered Ajay Kumar in it. Were you illllllll???"
me;"no my lord. I am a perfectly legal born son .sorry it is 1989. the habit of bluffing people on this earth made me think i could even bluff you and postpone my death... "
god:"I am omnipresent, omnipotent and the maruti omni. Yes my register has the following entry---
born:26 jan, 1989
time of birth:delivery order signed at 7:58am, earth timings may vary as per urgency
death:one year after he loses his virginity
unique qualities:flirty, falls in love with every second girl, proposes to every third girl, gets ditched by every girl(and a die hard fan of Jessica Alba) "
(suddenly God shouts in havoc reckoning voice,"Parvati don't come outside. We have a very bad human here.")
god:(husked voice)"how is Jessica these days? The connectivity of metacafe is weak here up in these Himalayas; these politicians need to be taken to task."
me: "lets discuss it some other day. when we have vodka and rum with us. girls sound bad unless you are drunk"
god:"true..true...come to your confession part, you are wasting my time. Katrina has some problems with Salman going on. I have been called in the form of Allah to help. Morever, i have to see the movie My name is Khan, hope Karan Johar doesnt teach us to flee with our moms in this movie! The cosmos was full of eloping gods after KANK."
me:"Today, I put a disgrace to engineering breed. I took bath twice a week.(both time alone)"
god:"YOU SCOUNDREL, A**E HOLE; I send you to this earth for upliftment of mankind. Save water and teach the world the importance of water, and what have you done today you took a bath. You scum bag, you don't deserve to be here. I am going to make sure you don't live another second. I am going to open my third eye now!!!"
me:"NO, my Lord. It is Shivratri today, so I took a bath."
god:"ohhhhh, then it is ok. Take bath on every Maha Shivratri."