This beautiful incident just surfaced
after years of hidden detritus. I was in class 7th and I was a good
student. The Indian education system defines a good student as one who is good
in studies; morality, honesty, character are just topics to be flirted with in
Moral Education classes. My scores in test papers made sure all teachers knew
me perfectly well and for good reasons indeed.
The age of thirteen, the fresh
entry in teens, is defined biologically as an extra surge of testosterones in
males and estrogens in females. Repercussions are emotional changes, attraction
towards other gender, moodiness and many others which can be found in any psychological
journal. My first attraction happened in class 7th at this age. I
have something for tall girls and girls that are older to me. By all standards I am fairly tall. Starting from my
first attraction to the most recent one, from which I am still trying to come
out, I have been attracted to older, matured, intelligent, tall and beautiful
girls. She was in my class but a year older. I will name her Ana to maintain secrecy.
How I felt at that moment is beyond words. Handling first attraction at the
tender age of thirteen is akin to a lake being asked to store the water content of an
ocean. My heart beat used to increase on spotting Ana, anxiety used to overtake
me, eyes used to go all goggled. I did let Ana know how I felt for her, and
she was gracious and matured enough to handle it properly. I was a naïve in
this field just blasted into teenage-group fresh into an emotional turmoil. I will
make a biased statement here that girls are better judge of characters than
boys and they take things slow in terms of relationships because they know this
thing requires time. It is not a thing to be hurried into. Ana liked me too.
We used to meet regularly,
exchange copies, seldom letters and used to call each other privately when
each-others parents were not around at home. The fright, the innocence, the
first taste of love is second to none. Saving money to gift her a key-ring
and a birthday card on her birthday consumed months for me. My parents did not
use to give me pocket money. They logically made be understand and agree to the
concept of pocket money as wrong; to give me company Ana started refusing her
parents for pocket money too. What beautiful days they were!
Fortunately my studies never
slumped and neither did hers. However the rumors of us being a couple started
spreading. By the time teachers came to know of our tiny, little affair we were
in mid of class 8th. Keeping a secret and especially such a secret
for one and half years at that age was indeed praise worthy. Teachers, hailed God for good reasons, decided it was time to talk to our parents.
Why did they do that I am still not sure. Does their complaining show their
lack of faith in me, or does it show their concerned attitude I am not sure. Either ways
our parents were involved in our love story now. The straight line had turned
into a square with me and Ana being at the opposite corners, with our parents
sitting at the other two corners.
The meeting room was no less than
a war zone. The teachers kept on talking till what seemed ages. Ana’s mother
was nervously on the verge of tears; Ana was pitifully crying and her father
was red and flaring with anger. My mom was looking at Ana and seemed more interested in Ana’s state of mind rather than the story. My dad listened to
the teachers patiently, and said he will talk to me.
“All you got to say is- you will
talk to your son? Give him a good beating and ask him to stay far away from my
daughter.” Ana’s father was flaring like a snake.
“That will be my decision to make
Mr. Patnaik. My son and your daughter are young. She is more terrified and
close to a specter. They need reasons, not spanking.” My dad said
thank you to all and left with me and my mom.
My dad did not talk to me through
out the journey back home. He wasn’t furious, he was just quiet.
On reaching back home, he asked
me to sit at the dining table. He brought out six steel glasses from the
kitchen. He asked me, “make the tallest structure possible with these glasses.”
I was surprised at his reaction. I
didn’t intend him to raise a hand. He never did that, and as a matter of fact used
to fight with my mom in case she used to raise her hand on me. He was a
logical person strongly founded on causes and reasons. Nevertheless I expected him
to shout at me.
I made a three layered pyramid
structure with the six glasses. Three glasses on the bottom layer, two in the
intermediate level and one glass at the top.
He observed me silently and then
spoke, “what will happen if I pull out the glass on the right side from the bottom
layer?”
“The structure will collapse.”
“Exactly. You are standing at a
juncture where one of the prime glass is education. With education you may
rise as high as the structure you have built. If you get diverted the structure
is bound to collapse.” He further went on to say, “Keep your priorities clear
and emotions clean. At this age education is your priority. The less the hassle
at your age the better you may be able to think.”
“Mr. Patnaik has not taken a
liking to you and it seems he will prefer you not coming in the path of her
daughter. I may stop him from raising a hand on you but if you prefer Ana’s
safety than you will need to be careful.” His voice echoed with genuine concern for the girl.
Today this morning I overheard
two of my senior colleages talking about their children and this incident just
popped out. I instantly called my father and asked him a peculiar question
which took him by surprise. “Papa, do you remember the Ana incident of class 7th?”
“Yeah I do. Age has silvered my hair not my memory. Fortunately I have a
good memory. Why? What happened?”
“Were you sad or angry at me? ”
“Well no. I wasn’t sad because
emotions is what makes us human and moreover if Ana happened to be a boy that
would have been a greater headache for me. Thankfully she was a girl. I was concerned- concerned
if you forget your priorities; concerned if you got too much emotionally involved to get out. The same incident at this age of yours must have
Ana as the priority, and at that age education should have been the priority.
I hope Ana’s dad didn't give her a hard time.”
My father was neither cold nor
furious about the incident. He just asked me not to get diverted from what was
required. Life is not about right and wrong, it is greyer than that. Ana at
that stage was not something that could be categorized as right or wrong.
*Ana's name is derived from the song "ana mere pyaar ko na tum jhuta samjho jaana". No resemblance to any real person.
*Ana's name is derived from the song "ana mere pyaar ko na tum jhuta samjho jaana". No resemblance to any real person.
