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सानू सौदा नहीं पुखदा, सानू सौदा नहीं पुखदा...

रवि तो चेनाब पुछदा,

"की हाल है सतलुज दा?"

Thursday, January 21, 2016

Do your parents trust you?

Throughout their lives, your parents have tried to domesticate you sometimes in the name of culture- what to wear and what to say, which religion to follow, what is good and what is bad; sometimes in terms of education- what to study and where to study; when you have grown up in terms of marriage- whom to marry and whom not to marry. This is a sophisticated form of slavery where emotions and love are used as a pretence to enslave children in bondages and fetters. Did not you see them as fetters before? It has been staring at your face since you started calling yourself independent and intelligent. You have already started feeling repulsed by the thought of someone calling your parents as cruel and proponents of slavery, haven't you? Such is the strong hold of these invisible iron chains that you are not even ready to entertain a thought that puts your parents in a bad light. Isn't it the sign of an educated mind to entertain a thought without accepting it? I am not asking you accept what I have accepted as reality, all I am asking you is to entertain and understand how you are being enslaved. Acceptance is anyways not an easy thing; it is slow to reasoning and has a lag time from the point you have logically deduced the reality and integrated it as a part of your life.

Your parents in the last 40 years have built various mental boundaries and walls around themselves. Boundaries which they built to keep themselves safe and happy. Boundaries which over years of non-confrontation turned into beliefs. These beliefs are so deeply entrenched in parents that they involuntarily don't realise when they are limiting their children and their freedom while driven by a sheer stubbornness of protecting these beliefs. An example of boundary in the oriental world is caste, region and gotra system when it comes to marriages. In the occidental world, an example of boundary is materialism and individualism. A by-product of preservation of these beliefs means that you are never going to be trained to be free. How could they ever trust you with freedom? Because freedom for you would mean that you start breaking down the walls and boundaries and beliefs that your parents have created in their lifetime. Whenever there is an even a minute spark in you to break away these boundaries the interplay of guilt and shame mixed with love starts. Buried under this heavy mountain of “my parents have done so much for me” you decide to make choices that are convenient to hold their beliefs. What have you given up in exchange is- freedom! You are no more a rebel. You are have given up the desire to be ecstatic. You are content with whatever your parents beliefs system is, but there is a difference between content and ecstatic. You have settled for contentment and not ecstasy because ecstasy can only come through freedom- rest everything is a compromise.

Of course parents are not doing it voluntarily. Rather this practice of protecting beliefs has been so long and transcended so many generations that they don’t see the distinction between what is right and what they are doing. Human mind has invested time, effort and surely a good number of neurons in convincing itself that "a belief" is the tested method of staying happy and safe. Over time the handicapped mind cannot differentiate what is belief and what is truth (or right). Since your parents have imprisoned their own mind they cannot teach you how to be free. Fetters are always going to be there. People are always going to have opinions based on beliefs. People are always going to stay divided because they cannot accept the breaking of the walls they have cocooned themselves in. Your parents are people too, they are bound by the same laws of mind which is applicable to you and me. Sorry but unfortunately true, parents no more teach their children to be absolutely free. They cannot do it.

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